She’s not a bitch, she’s just real

She’s not all antisocial. She’s not lying alone in her beds, staring at her phone and waiting for someone to call and make plans, to invite her to do things.

She’s not blowing you off because she has something better planned.

The truth is she likes being alone. She appreciates good company of course, but that’s not the only thing that she looks forward to. Just because she sometimes looks and acts like she doesn’t know how to talk to people, how to interact, how to make friendships or relationships stick, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want a person, or people around her.

It’s the exact opposite.

There is so much more to a girl who likes her own space than she will ever lead on.

Because she has hobbies that she doesn’t need a companion for. She knows what she wants to do, she knows what makes her happy.

And trust me, she really isn’t willing to put her wants and needs on hold because someone doesn’t support them or understand them.

Because she has been there before.

She used to be a social butterfly, out every night, making tons of plans with every person she ever knew.

Until she finally saw that not everyone in her life needed to be her friend. Not every guy she dated had something to offer and not every BFF saw her and liked her for the things that she wanted to do for herself.

She’s very down to earth, and when everyone she knows is out, hanging out, doing the same things they would do by themselves with friends, she smiles.

Because she knows that she needs to take care of herself. Mind, body and spirit.

And she doesn’t believe that interaction is something that should never be turned of.

She has time to think, to listen, to observe, to wonder, to dream.

She might even be the smartest girl you will ever meet.

And the most loyal.

Because when she does makes connections, she does everything in her power to keep them, whatever it takes, she’s always down to make something work. Be it a friendship or relationship.

It’s not that she’s closed of, that she isn’t fun, it’s just that she’s too smart and seen too much to make time for anyone who doesn’t make time for her.

So the next time that you met a girl like this and think to yourself, she must be really lonely, remember that she has done this by choice, not by force.

And for that, she’s stronger than most anyone you will ever have the pleasure of knowing.

I’m the best damn *enter expletive/word of your choice here* you will ever meet!

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

For years I’ve written, and people would ask me, over and over, WHY don’t I share my work?

You see, when I was between the ages of 13-18 in the middle of being bullied by people, I began to believe them.  I would write in a journal, which soon became a secret blog.  I have kept my past as my “past,” until recently; I was victimized once again, but as an adult this time. I felt helpless, hopeless, and enraged. Yet, we still don’t tend to talk at length as adults about a very common problem.

Bullying

Kids get bullied; the “weak” get bullied.  Adults presumably are neither targeted nor affected by bullies.  However, the reverse is true.  Adult bullies, whether in work or within social situations, will target very specific individuals.

For those bullied by their so called, “friends” there is no Human Resources department to whom you can turn to.

Social exclusion and isolation are very powerful weapons in a bullies court.  They will wield these brilliantly once a target has been identified and enablers are present.  Enablers are NOT bullies themselves, but sheep who will turn a blind eye through silence or fear of their own social exclusion.

This is where phone calls/texts don’t get returned. Group activities get arranged without your invitation.  During the times when the rest of the group meets, you are belittled, branded delusional and laughed at.  You can challenge it, you can complain about it, but it’s ultimately pointless.  As wrong and as devastating as this sort of behavior is by the BULLY or the SHEEP, there is nothing you can do but withdraw.


So today, I decided to talk about being bullied.  I thought you bullies have a lot to call me, well, I’m the best damn *enter expletive/word of your choice here* you will ever meet!

The thing is, I’m not a what you bullies portray me to be.  I never was.

I am just Nida.

I am someone who WAS a victim, and someone who found the strength to fight back. I am someone who believed that I was worthless and fought hard to realize that I wasn’t.

So now it’s time for a change.  Change is scary.  Change is good.  I want to share more of myself than just my bullying stories.  I AM more than my bullying stories.

I’m a good writer.  I like music.  I love concerts.  I like fashion.  I’m a wife.  I’m a sister.  I’m a daughter.  I like making friends and I really like helping others to know that they are pretty terrific, too.

So, I have decided, I am no longer allowing bullies to control my life.

I am just Nida.

And that is pretty perfect for me.

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MAKE A STATEMENT THIS 4th OF JULY

Okay, so the 4th of July is finally on its way, and I find it is the perfect excuse to dress in theme and show off our love for this country.

Best part of all?

Most of us already have pieces in our closets that we can throw together for these patriotic looks.  Without further adieu, here’s some of my favorite 4th of July outfit inspirations.

Creating a patriotic look may sound difficult at first but it really isn’t.  A simple t-shirt that is designed in the American flag works great for any combination.

If there is one thing I need, it’s that classic striped dress and jean shirt.  It is something that we should all have in our closet.  A staple we can wear all throughout the summer.  Pair it with a bright red wedge or sandal and you are Independence Day ready!

I’m a big fan of fun graphic tees!  Especially the striped baseball sleeves on this one make it the cutest one I’ve seen for the holiday.  Pair it with your favorite white jeans for the perfect ensemble!

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Sweat is just fat crying

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@neeeedzzz

This summer I’ve decided to begin going to the gym at least twice a week.  I don’t have a lot of free time, but prioritizing my health is super important to me after a few recent scares my husband came across.  I found that helping motivate him, helps me along the way as well.  Plus we can totally squeeze 1 hour of exercise into our week.

I felt that it takes a lot to physically conjure up the courage and make it to the gym your first time, and below are some tips that have helped me.

Go with a friend

Everything feels easier when your with a friend, and going to the gym is no exception to that.  Talk about your health and fitness goals before signing a gym membership.  Try to find a time in your schedules that will allow you to go together.  Working out with a friend can not only motivate you, but it makes you feel a hell of a lot more comfortable in a sometimes intimidating environment.  Plus, having a friend around means that you’ll always be covered if you accidentally fall off of a treadmill when you’re running too quickly!

Meet with a personal trainer AT LEAST once

My husband and I had our first sessions at the gym yesterday, and each of us met with a trainer.  My trainer was a female around my age, and she had a similar body type as well.  This was actually really helpful in my case, because I was able to discuss my body freely.  Trainers don’t make you feel self-conscious, in fact she acted more like a workout buddy who had tons of valuable feedback to provide.

She was able to conceptualize a workout plan for me, before I could (to be fair, I had no idea where to start).  She educated me about the various machines there that looked extremely intimidating, and by the time I was half way through my session I felt like a pro.  Although there are people who prefer a full-time trainer, I am not one of them.  I feel as though, I got everything I needed from one session.  I plan to create my own workouts moving forward.

If the thought of planning a workout routine sends you into sweats, then consider following a workout tutorial online. Whether you’re off to the gym or you’re exercising from the comfort of your own home, it’s entirely possible to lose weight and have fun by following the advice of some experts.

Take is fashionably slow

The single biggest piece of advice that you should take from this post is not to overdo it on your first visit to the gym.  I started to get that nauseous feeling, and I knew it was time to stop.  Be sure to pay attention during your gym routine, and learn how to use each piece of equipment properly – the more you know about it, the better your workout will become.

I’m not super into fitness and I don’t particularly like going to the gym, but it’s something that I do for my future self. For me, going to the gym is more about preventative health measures than looking beach body ready. I definitely think that exercise is an important healthcare practice, but whether you decide to do it in the gym, the comfort of your own home, or outdoors is completely up to you.

Also, there is nothing wrong with adding a little swag or flare to your workout gear.  I took this opportunity to go shopping (of course), and found some really great things.  I’ll be sharing all the goodies I purchased very soon! but that is for a different post, at a different time.

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Happy Friday! As Elle Woods would say “We did it!” Bring on the warm weather & weekend fun!

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Instagram: @neeeedzzz

Happy Friday friends! I’m currently writing this from work at 3:35pm, I felt it’s been too long.  I’ve tried to write a blog post all week and even blocked out an hour or two to try and knock something out, but I just couldn’t do it.  I’d stare at my phone or laptop for hours and not write a single thing.  To be honest, I just really feel like rambling right now so I’m sorry if this is not what you came to my page for today…

I’ve tried to consistently stick to a posting schedule in the last few months, but I’ve had not one, not two, but TEN posts sitting in my drafts.  They haven’t made my blog yet because I haven’t been inspired to write them.  It’s something I’m struggling with right now and have a feeling I will the next couple of months or so.

Pretty much, this blog is my inspiration.  It’s my creative outlet and something I’m extremely proud of.  But this blog is so much more than what I’m wearing or my favorite Summer trends.  It’s my life.  I started it to share my experiences and advice.  But how do I share that life and advice when it is so ridiculously boring right now?

I’m sure I’ve shared my daily routine on here before, but it really is just work, and school.  I’m honestly too busy with school.  When I’m not on campus for 8 hours working/studying, I’m at my apartment or at DryHop trying to get away.  That’s my life at the moment.

Although I have done a bit of traveling this year, I realize my trips were short, sweet, and to the point.  They typically had a purpose to the trip (family gatherings/weddings), rather than leisurely.   Lately, I’m not going out at night, I’m not doing anything fun for myself.  I feel stuck in this time of my life where all I do and all I want to do is sleep, watch Netflix/relax, and finish school work.  And trust me, you can’t feel inspired to write a post when that’s all you feel you have done the last uncounted months of your life.  So, I’m a little stuck right now.

I have no real plans to travel this summer, and I’ll be working like crazy to save for some future goals.  It’s honestly kind of sad because I just want inspiration to write some posts!!!  But I can’t get it right now.   I’ve accepted that this is my stage of life at the moment.   I’d love to be out day drinking, hanging by the pool.  and traveling all the time, but in reality, I graduate in one year.  I have one year to finish my degree, make the grades, add to my resume, and look for a better job.  That’s what’s important right now and it’s just one more year of my life.

I’m so thankful that I have all of y’all reading my blog and I’ve worked so hard to get my blog where it is over the last few months.  But unfortunately, my life is NOT fun and games right now.  And I personally feel like I know y’all don’t want to be reading about how I went to bed at 8pm the other night because I was so tired from all of the school work I’ve been doing.  I’ve run myself completely dry (whatever that means??) because I’m the type of person that will take on as much as I can until I collapse.  LITERALLY.  And I’m pretty much at that point right now.

I am SO sorry for this rant of a post but I know a lot of you really do care about what’s going on in life and I so appreciate that.  I’m so thankful for this blog and I’m not stopping it anytime soon but just wanted to explain where I’ve been and what’s going on with me right now.

I seriously have 10 posts of photos to go up.  They’ll eventually go up, but I like them to have a purpose.  And until I get the inspiration for that purpose, they’re just going to sit in my drafts.  I hope y’all understand and thank you SO much for reading and being so incredibly kind.  I pray that venting about this just opens my mind up for more ideas and content.  Here’s to a lovely Friday, celebrating the start of Summer, and a weekend of living life!

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Which of the following two qualities in your husband would it be?

Who Wins? – The Best Friend or The Good Provider Husband?

Why should I be forced to choose?

From a spouse’s point of view, it can be extremely testing to adjust, or be both. Making it more troublesome in today’s economy and it’s money related effect on relational unions and families. Many traditional roles of husband and wife have been turned around, turned inside-out, and turned upside-down.

It is a fight that we, spouse’s, battle each and every day. A few men may have surrendered the battle, and simply centered around the one they do best or are most alright with. Be that as it may, in the event that it were up to our spouses, which one is generally vital? Which one would the spouses need most? This question applies to singles too, and is something that must be considered when making a guarantee in marriage.

The Best Friend Husband

This is the spouse that is there. He is available in all ranges. He is there to invest energy with you and the children. He contributes around the house, or is “domestic sexy.” You have a relationship based on correspondence. At the point when the work that he does, whatever or wherever that might be is accomplished for the day, he is hanging out with you. You really feel you know him personally, and he knows you personally, on account of the quality time you spend together. When you have a question, an idea, or something to state, your first decision is to address him.

Be that as it may, with regards to giving, he is falling somewhat short. You may not be sure if you will have money to pay the bills. On the off chance that regardless he has work, this occupation may not pay what is expected to completely bolster your family’s way of life. Your night out on the town fundamentally consists of putting the kids to bed and watching a movie at home in light of the fact that there is no money accessible to go out. Your companions are discussing their consistent excursions; however, you have yet to go on one because of an absence of accounts. Your monetary future, your family way of life, is loaded with a ton of vulnerability.

The Good Provider Husband

This guy has it going on in his career, and his way of life shows it. There is never any uncertainty that the majority of your needs, the children’s needs, and the requirements of the family unit are met. That, as well as your needs, are met too. You shop at the nicer places rather than generic places, your things and children’s things are all predominantly known brands. End of the week shopping trips with your girls, as well as your children, are financed and happen frequently. You take trips for all intents and purposes when you need. You have the choice to grow a career for yourself, or remain at home.

In spite of the fact that he is “that person” in the profession front, and giving an extraordinary way of life to your family, he is seldom present – physically, inwardly, or rationally. The profession that gives such a great amount to you and your family keeps him busy all the time. When he is not working, he is loosening up, discussing work, or hanging with the guys. Your girlfriends know more about what goes ahead in your head, home, and with your kids than he does. It has been months since you’ve shared a personal affair that is attractive to you.

Choose Only One…

It can take so much out of a husband to provide financially for his family, that he sometimes must make sacrifices that keep him from the wife and family he is working to provide for. Then again, a spouse may state to overlook the lucrative career so he can invest however much quality time, and create as many teachable, yet fun, moments with their family as could be expected. Doing as such may restrain his career and financial options. In the event that you needed to pick one… what might your decision be?

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DryHop Brewers.

If you love hop-centric ales, IPAs and Pale Ales, Belgian, and experimental craft beers – DryHop’s brewmaster, is a ninja-genius when it comes to balancing elements like acidity, bitterness, aroma and mouthfeel to derive the perfect combination of flavor.  They believe in the power of the palate over a recipe any day.

They brew more than 150 in-house beers since they opened in 2013, and the styles range from seasonal IPAs to traditional Belgian farmhouse ales.


.EAT.

“Craft beer culture on a plate.”

As a regular DryHop patron, I would say my husband/friends & I will stopover there at least once a week. The menu constantly brims with dishes showcasing the flavors and seasonality of the brewery.

My personal favorite on their menu is The Burger! Mind you this is no ordinary burger.  It was named one of, 2013’s Best Burgers in Chicago.

The burger is blended from brisket and short rib with a chile-tomato jam, aged cheddar, arugula, and pickled sweet onions. You also have the option to add Applewood Smoked Bacon and/or an Egg) (which are both optional, but we know you’ll do the right thing). Now go eat!


.DRINK.

 SHARK MEETS HIPSTER

  • WHEAT IPA—6.5%

It is literally your next love affair. Light bodied American Wheat Ale featuring truckloads of Galaxy hops. Expect strong notes of passion fruit.

This is my FAVORITE beer on tap. This is one of their very first brews. It’s a bit lighter, without all the fresh citrus aroma; something licoricey, prickly, and herbal mingles with peach and white grape, and the bitter finish reminds me of grapefruit. It pairs wonderfully with the burger and much of their other menu items as well.  I was impartial to it at first, but it has quickly grown into my first choice.


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